I Keep Your Memory
by All-About-That-Ace
Summary: Lin had never really cared for stories or "happily ever after", but she cared for Tenzin. She had thought he cared for her, too.


**A/N:** Lin Beifong is a beautiful human being who deserves better than "bitter ex-girlfriend". Which isn't to say her character was badly done - she had depth and personality - but the handling of hers and Tenzin's past relationship annoyed me, especially with how they brought it up so soon after introducing her. It made it seem like her grumpiness was a product of their break up as opposed to her general demeanor.

 **Warnings:** none

 **Pairings:** Lin/Tenzin, Pema/Tenzin

 **Disclaimer:** Not mine. Boo.

 **Timeline:** Pre-series. According to the Avatar wiki, there is a 15 year age difference between Pema and Lin, and a one year age difference between Lin and Tenzin. Using this, I have decided that for this fic, Pema is 18, Lin is 33, and Tenzin is 34. The wiki says Pema fell in love with Tenzin sometime before she was 25 so I think this fits. Coincidentally, this is also around the time Aang died so I'm gonna use that, too.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

There had not been a time when Lin did not know Tenzin. For as long as she had been alive, he was there, right across the harbor. It was inevitable, really, that they would start dating. That was how these stories worked; boy and girl grow up together, fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after.

Lin had never really cared for stories or "happily ever after", but she cared for Tenzin.

She had thought he cared for her, too.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

They were slipping. She knew they were slipping, she just didn't know how to stop it. When they had first started dating, Lin hadn't really appreciated the pressure Tenzin was under. Sure, Lin had her mother's legacy to live up to, but Tenzin had the culture of an entire people to preserve. She tried to understand, but the two didn't really compare. They had been persevering, though, until Avatar Aang died, and all that pressure increased. Tenzin became the only airbender, and the only person capable of bringing new airbenders into the world.

He started talking about marriage.

Lin had nothing against marriage. She was at a good place in her life and career. It was a great time to get married. Until Tenzin started talking about children.

She didn't know why it had never occurred to her, that the last airbender would want to make _more_ airbenders. It only made sense, after all, that he would try to repopulate the Air Nation again. The Air Acolytes were all well and good, but they couldn't actually _bend_ anything. They couldn't replace the hole in the world, or the hole that had been in Uncle Aang's heart.

Lin had nothing against children, not really. She didn't _hate_ kids. They were always getting into things they shouldn't and asked questions constantly - good traits for a cop - but she didn't actually _want_ any. She never had. They were messy and whiny and Lin was absolutely terrified of the idea of having a life so completely dependent on her.

She had tried to change her mind. She'd tried to imagine holding a baby of her own - Lin's own mother hadn't ever considered the idea of children until she'd found herself expecting, and she'd ended up having two! - but her mind just couldn't form the picture.

(At one point, Lin decided to leave it to fate and stopped using her birth control. Doing that terrified her more than the idea of having a child did. When no pregnancy came of it she tried to feel some sort of disappointment, but all she had felt was relief.)

(She didn't tell Tenzin.)

With their differing opinions on children, more issues sprung up between them, small, stupid things that shouldn't have meant anything but did; where would they live, (Lin didn't want to be too far from the precinct in case of emergency and Tenzin didn't feel right anywhere but Air Temple Island), would Lin remain a police officer, (Lin refused to give up her job and Tenzin never said anything to try and convince her to, but as a monk, violence before diplomacy made him very uncomfortable), would they have a traditional Earth Kingdom wedding or Air Nomad wedding, (Lin actually would want neither because of all the pomp and ceremony they'd have to deal with but Tenzin would want a big Air Nomad affair with both their families and all of the Air Acolytes in attendance and there was absolutely no way Lin would ever let her family anywhere near something as important as her wedding).

Tenzin hadn't proposed. He _wouldn't_ propose, not with their relationship unraveling like it was. Lin didn't even _want_ him to propose, but he was her best and oldest friend. She didn't want to lose him.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Tenzin had been acting odd. He'd been putting off dates, shortening phone calls, spending more and more time on Air Temple Island.

It was the end of them, Lin knew. They were simply putting off the inevitable, but what could she do? They'd taken their gamble and risked their friendship. To give up now when they were on such shaky ground could ruin it forever.

They could be adults about things - admit that they were done, move on with their lives, maybe even salvage what was left of their affection for each other - but Lin didn't know how to quit and Tenzin was never the most confrontational of people. To admit they were done would feel like a failure. Lin had never failed at anything.

(Well, she failed at getting her mother's attention, but clearly that was unobtainable. _You are not a reflection of what you cannot obtain._ Tenzin had told her that over and over growing up, every time she tried to get the Chief to notice her. She had never really let it sink in, no matter how much had she wanted it to. Apparently, Tenzin had never taken it to heart, either.)

Lin decided to visit him at Air Temple Island. They didn't have plans, but Tenzin has always been more flexible than she was. He would appreciate a surprise date, she was sure, and they would talk - _actually_ talk - about them.

(Maybe instead of looking at it as failing at a relationship, she should think of it as succeeding at salvaging their friendship. That was just the kind of hokey crap Uncle Aang would say. Mom would never think like that, but thinking like mom wouldn't really help her current situation. Thinking like mom had never helped her at all.)

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lin was, not exactly happy, but perhaps satisfied to see Tenzin for approximately three minutes before she saw the young Air Acolyte. Lin wasn't the overly paranoid type. She didn't see her boyfriend with another woman and immediately jump to the conclusion that he was cheating on her. The two weren't even doing anything to indicate they were more than friends. The young woman was smiling gently up at Tenzin. Tenzin had his hand on her shoulder. There was nothing scandalous about it, but Lin felt their increased heartbeats in the earth. She saw the way they looked at each other and read their body language. The two were together. Lin saw red.

How dare he. How _dare_ he.

Lin looked closely at the Acolyte. She was much younger, that was for sure. Nineteen, maybe twenty in the right light. She looked so sweet and slightly awed by Tenzin's presence. Of course she was; he was the only airbender in the world and she had dedicated her life to their culture.

The Air Acolytes were fairly disconnected from the rest of the world. Despite being so near such a large city, they had never really cared for outside gossip. The woman probably didn't even know about Lin, only that a kind older man had taken a liking to her. That's what Lin had thought until she cleared her throat to gain their intention.

Tenzin looked so guilty, as he should, and Lin had ever intention of confronting him head on, pain in her chest be damned, but then she looked at the Acolyte. The other woman's face wasn't confused. She didn't look worried about what would bring a detective to the island. She looked sorry. But why would she be sorry? Surely, she didn't know who Lin was. _Surely_ , she wasn't so enamored with Tenzin that she would ignore that he'd had a girlfriend - _still_ had a girlfriend. After all, what kind of person would do something like that? Would care so little for another woman's emotions that she would date an unavailable man?

This woman would.

"Lin-"

And the courtyard shattered.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Lin shouldn't have done that. She shouldn't have done that. She should _not_ have done that. Someone was going to file a report with the precinct and then she was going to get fired and blacklisted from every law enforcement job on the continent. Law enforcement was all she knew! She'd have to go to the Fire Nation and get Uncle Zuko to put in a good word for her to work there. She hated the Fire Nation! It was too hot for her to wear metal and there was always someone asking her to introduce them to the royal family. Eventually she would crack and end up getting another assault charge and then she'd have to remove herself from society like Suyin did.

Oma and Shu, she was going to end up like Suyin!

The Air Acolytes were all about forgiveness and moving on. Maybe if she promised to fix all the damage she'd done, they would agree not to press charges. Sure, it would take her a few weeks to smooth all the rubble out, but it would be worth it not to have to leave Republic City.

(Or maybe she _should_ leave Republic City. She could change her name and her hair and get a fresh start. Live a better life. Find a new best friend who wouldn't stop caring about her feelings when it became too inconvenient. She'd jump from place to place and never tell anyone from her old life where she was going. Let go her earthly tethers. Become wind. She'd never appreciated that stupid poem before.)

"Detective, she's here. We've put her in interrogation room 2."

She shouldn't have done that, either.

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"So your name is Pema, huh?"

"You can't just have me arrested!" She glared at Lin from the metal chair she sat in and Lin wondered if in any other world, the two of them could have been friends.

"You're not arrested, you're detained," Lin told her. "Now shut up and listen. We have maybe ten minutes before Tenzin comes to your rescue."

"You-"

"I _will_ gag you." Lin wouldn't, but the Acolyte wasn't a truthseer like mother was. She couldn't feel the increased pulse behind the stony face. She sat back quietly. "You knew about me, didn't you?" Pema simply glared. " _Didn't_ you?"

"I thought you didn't want me to talk," Pema said sarcastically. Lin punched the table.

" _You don't get to play the victim here_." Lin may not have taken the high ground in this, but Pema did _not_ get to pretend she had any right to it, either. "When I first saw you two together, my first thought was that he just hadn't told you. I know he'd pull something like that. It wasn't until I saw your reaction to me that I started to think otherwise. And I was right, wasn't I?"

Pema looked away.

"That's what I thought."

"You don't understand," Pema said, her eyes still averted.

"What's there to understand?"

" _He was miserable_." Pema finally looked up at Lin again, and Lin wished she had just kept looking away. She didn't need to hear about this from Tenzin's other girlfriend; she needed to hear about this from _Tenzin_ , but she couldn't even have _that_. "Your relationship with him was falling apart and I _know_ he and I are meant to be together, so fine, yes, I knew he was seeing you when I told him my feelings, but I'm not sorry he chose me!"

"You think _that's_ why I'm angry?" Lin didn't shout. She didn't need to shout. She had a firmness to her voice that made shouting excessive, but Pema flinched as if Lin had screamed in her ear. "I _knew_ we were going nowhere! I knew it was just a matter of time, but I'd hoped he would _at least_ have enough respect for me to break up before deciding to date some _teenager_!"

The room was silent. Pema froze. "Wh... What?"

Lin's eyes widened and she looked away. She _hadn't_ known.

"You mean... he didn't..." Pema raised her hands to her lips. She looked like she would start crying and that was one thing Lin had no intention of dealing with. "I thought... I thought he had broken up with you. I thought he just hadn't told you he'd moved on so quickly and that's why you were so mad. _I didn't_...!" A tear slid down the Acolyte's cheek.

"Stop crying," Lin ordered. "I'm not crying, you don't get to cry."

"I'm sorry." Pema sniffled and Lin handed her a handkerchief. "Thank you."

"Eh." Lin took a seat in the opposite chair. "I was all set to hate you, too. Way to ruin it."

Pema let out a watery giggle. Lin didn't bother to tell her she hadn't been joking. No need to give her more reasons to cry.

"I just can't believe he would do this," Pema whispered, almost to herself.

"Look, I've known Tenzin all my life and most all of his," Lin said, "and one thing you should learn about him right now; he is _not_ perfect." Pema looked at Lin, her red eyes wide. "He's passive aggressive and way too obsessed with being his father and he would sooner avoid you than address a problem, as I know too well. To be honest, I'm half convinced Tenzin was hoping I would see you two so he wouldn't have to do the breaking up himself."

Pema looked shamefaced again and Lin really wished she wouldn't. Lin was trying to make a point, not take shots. Pema needed to know these things if she was going to be with Tenzin. She had to prepare herself for the silences and the annoying proverbs and the weight of the Air Nation she would have to help him carry.

(Because even though Lin wanted to sock him in the jaw, he _was_ her friend - or at the very least, _had been_ her friend - and seeing Pema, crying over the pain she'd unwittingly caused but so determined to fight back when their conversation had first started, Lin was sure they would work. They would work a lot better than Tenzin and Lin ever had and it would hurt because _spirits_ did she not want to lay eyes on Tenzin ever again, but there was a sliver of affection still within her no matter how hard she tried to quash it.)

"Call him on his crap. Don't let him get away with this," Lin told Pema, who nodded solemnly. Lin closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "And then forgive him and try again."

"E-excuse me?" Pema asked.

"He's just a big idiot and he needs someone around to tell him when he's being particularly stupid. Now get out. Tenzin's at the front desk demanding your release." He wasn't being quiet about it, either. Even without her seismic sense, Lin probably would have been able to hear him if she tried hard enough.

( _And tell him I never want to see him again_ , Lin wanted to say. _Tell him he's a terrible friend and he needs to grow a spine and if he cared so little for me he should never have agreed to date me in the first place._ )

( _Tell him my ribs feel like they're being crushed and I don't know how to fix it. Tell him he's a liar and I should never have believed him when he said he wasn't going to leave me alone just like everyone else. Tell him I can't breathe. Tell him I can't think. Tell him I hate him. Tell him I'm a liar, too._ )

Pema went to Tenzin. Lin left out the back door. She was in no state nor place to confront Tenzin, now.

Lin went home. She collected everything that ever reminded her of Tenzin, a lifetime's worth of memories, and locked them away in a steel-edged trunk.

(Her apartment looked so bare.)

She earthbent her wall open and metalbent the trunk far away and into the harbor.

She'd known him for thirty-three years. She didn't even want to hear his name for at least thirty-three more.

(Then maybe every breath won't be a reminder of him.)

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

 **A/N:** I don't mean to make Tenzin into a bad person. He was just in a faltering relationship he didn't know how to end and that lead him to making stupid decisions.

Anyway, review please! I've never done a Legend of Korra story before. It'd be nice to get some feedback.


End file.
